I think Martha’s been getting a bad rap in the church for too long! I’ve been getting little glimpses–insights if you will–into her character lately that have made me appreciate Martha’s personality and heart… and to realize that Mary’s not all she’s cracked up to be.
Remembering the story of Mary and Martha, most people think of the words of chastisement Jesus give Martha in Luke 10:38-42 when, after Martha complains that Mary should be helping out rather than daydreaming at Jesus’ feet, Jesus tells Martha that Mary chose correctly.
Because of those fatal words of Jesus; Christians, myself included, have inadvertently been taught that Mary was the “better” sister. I disagree… a lot!
Let me set up the story for you. Picture the family of Lazarus and his two sisters. No parents are mentioned, so it would have fallen to Lazarus to provide for his two sisters. As he was a close friend of Jesus’, I picture him in his early 30s, same age as Christ–though his actual age isn’t mentioned in the Bible. As to his sisters, I’ve recently come to picture Mary still young… maybe still in her teens–immature and a bit on the emotional side.
Notice how it says, “a woman named Martha opened her home” to Jesus and his crew. So either Martha was the eldest of the family, or she did the inviting.
So here the three siblings are, at home in Bethany, and while Lazarus would naturally be responsible to bring home the proverbial bacon, Martha and Mary are responsible for the chores at home that would naturally fall to women–sewing, cleaning, cooking… you know, “Keeping House 101″ stuff. Now here comes Jesus for a visit… which, as we’ve been told, was by invitation.
However, Jesus is usually accompanied by an entourage of at least 12 disciples, plus who knows how many others that would have been tagging along. Suddenly you’re not only cooking for three, but you’re responsible for feeding a small army! While the extra food needed to feed 13 more people may not have been an issue, the extra WORK definitely would have been. Anyone who’s ever put together a Christmas dinner for 20-plus people can attest to that. As if that weren’t enough, the person who’s supposed to be helping, is daydreaming at the feet of Jesus instead of helping to set the table and peel the potatoes!
Freeze frame for a second.
I so can identify with Martha at this point. I’d be frustrated and annoyed, and all kinds of resentful just about right now. But that’s not even all. Here’s Jesus at her house–the Rabbi who’s become famous for healing the sick and dying, an amazing story-teller and speaker, and she’s the one who invited him–and she’s stuck in the kitchen without help, making food for the whole gang?!?
I keep thinking, maybe Martha would have liked to visit with Jesus and his disciples as well… hear how things are going, what he’s been up to recently, catch up on local news, etc. But being stuck in the kitchen she’s missing out on all that. What a let-down! And here’s the clencher, the person who’s supposed to be helping you–the one who you should be able to complain to and share your misery with–is in there with the rest of the guys, having a good time! (Younger siblings can be such annoyances!)
Yeah, I’d be livid just about now.
So what does Martha–and any sensible female–do? She asks for help!
I wonder, did Martha try to get Mary’s attention before she made her appeal to Jesus? Being the baby in the family, Mary may have gotten some special privileges. We usually tend to spoil our youngest siblings–at least I find that I tend to let more things slide with my “little” brother than with the one who’s closer to my age. But there are times I’d like them to act grown up and help out as well… take on some responsibility and notice that I’m struggling and help without me having to beg every time. And darn it, clean up those dishes when you’re done with them! (Eh, sorry about that, not really part of this story.)
Aaanywaaay… so apparently, Mary wasn’t the perceptive kind–hence my belief that she was a bit of a daydreamer–and Martha appeals to Jesus instead.
But her plea for help falls on deaf ears–and here’s where I want to sob with Martha, because who wouldn’t feel betrayed when someone you revere lets you down like that? My heart breaks for Martha, who’s told, in no uncertain terms, that she’s getting too distracted with the details, and that she should be more like Mary and not get so worked up about things.
If this were any other man saying this to a woman, I could just hear the outcry, “Waaay wrong answer, dude! You did not just diss Martha for working her butt off trying to feed you and your gang!” Luckily for Jesus, he didn’t have women’s lib to worry about, ‘cuz I would have so railed on him for making Martha feel bad.
Okay, so maybe I wouldn’t have told Jesus off, but I sure would have liked to find out what happened next. The Bible conveniently leaves those details out. I’m sure Martha felt all kinds of wronged, but I doubt she dropped everything and sat beside Mary at Jesus’ feet.
If it had been me, I would have gone back into the kitchen and had a huge self-pitty fest about the injustice of it all, then shed some more tears because I realized that Jesus was probably right telling me that I worry too much–’cuz, frankly, I do worry too much and these things can be distracting. But eventually I’d heave a sigh of reluctance and continue peeling the potatoes since the cooking still has to be done by someone.
But this isn’t the end of Martha and Mary’s story.
Flash forward to Lazarus’ sudden illness and death. Both sisters are devastated to have lost their brother, and have been mourning for four days. The neighbours are trying to console them, but it’s not helping.
So when the news reaches them that Jesus is on the way–too late to be of any use to Lazarus now, but still he came–Martha goes out to meet their family friend. She seems so full of faith, telling Jesus that if he’d been there, Lazarus would not have died (John 11:21-22). Maybe there’s a bit of an accusation in there, but it’s her other words to Jesus that blow me away. She says, “I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask.”
Pause here for a moment. Here’s Martha, who got told by Jesus that she was worrying too much about “things,” telling Jesus she believes in him! And when Jesus asks her whether she believes that anyone who believes in him will never die, Martha’s the one whose eyes are opened to acknowledge him as the Son of God. And she goes back to get Mary…
No begging, no pleading, no breakdown. This Martha is waaay cooler than the emotional wreck that is her sister; who, we’re shown, is a total basket case. Rushing heedlessly out to meet Jesus, Mary falls at his feet, and accuses Jesus of the same thing her sister did through heart-wrenching tears. Even though she uses the same words Martha did, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died” (John 11:32), her actions seem to say that she’s not as forgiving as her sister. She’s lost in her own sorrow, and her sobs are so gut-wrenching, even Jesus starts weeping–He who knows that God wants to raise Lazarus from the dead (John 11:11)!
I don’t know about you, but Martha strikes me as the more sympathetic of the two here. While Mary got Jesus to weep, Martha’s the one who recognized his purpose. And though her rational side had difficulty wrapping her head around the fact that Jesus had come to raise her brother from the dead, she also trusted Jesus enough to let him perform the miracle without standing in his way.
So I want to be a Martha. I want to invite Jesus to come over to my place and prepare a meal for him, even if he points out the things in my life that I need to paying less attention while I’m doing it. I want to recognize Jesus as he reveals himself to me, whether it be through his Word or through the miracles he performs in my life. And I want to love my Christian brothers and sisters without judging them for the way they interact with God.
